Here are the ones we went with:
WHAT ARE 3 REASONS YOUR TEAM WANTS TO (OR SHOULD BE) A PART OF THIS COMPETITION?
We are faster at trivia than 80% of all snakes. and humans.
To foster interpersonal intracommunicativity! (that is, teamwork brings people closer together, in pseudo-management-wank speak).
Because we don't just want to be feared or loved, we want to be both. We want people to be afraid of how much they love us.
We will try our hardest to win the competition for all of us Office fans!